Licensed in the Romp

Somewhere outside Sydney, NSW 2018

If you have ever been to the DMV in the States you will quickly find out that no one is smiling. No music is playing.  No one wants to be there, ever.  The U.S. Government does not make it overly easy on getting what you need till AFTER you take a number and get butt rot on a one-size-fits-no-one chair.  Most are there in a hurry and just want to leave.  

Australia has a new claim over the United States on convenience…  Seriously, I thought America had convenience (often to the point of brazen laziness) covered and trademarked.  Get a haircut, order up some take-away (take-out) from Maccas (McDonalds), buy some designer jeans, and then cap the day off and get your drivers license. That is right, folks!  The Aussie DMV is inside the bloody mall.  So naturally I needed to take it very serious since it was my first time getting a drivers license in a foreign country.  So, just like the onesie date of 2018, I donned a freshly clean and pressed outfit.  Then headed to the mall.

Bankstown Central Mall, Sydney 2018

Now the wait was still long due to time of day.  However, I passed the time surfing FB on free WiFi.  There I sat, chilling next to a Gam Gam (Grandma) and a Bloke (gentleman) that seemed to come from India or Pakistan listening to Coolios Gangsta’s Paradise played on the loudspeakers piping in on some Spotify account or radio station.  I seriously can’t make up better material myself.  There is nothing quite like American Gangsta Rap to settle your nerves at the Aussie DMV.  I wonder what a drive-by consist of here – boomerangs?  I have no proof to back that statement up.

Once at the counter, another 10-15 minutes and an apologies on my wait time.  Apparently it might have been a holiday weekend and overly busy for a Friday. If accurate, the Queen of England’s birthday is celebrated on different days depending on which State you live in (around 8 different days - eat your hearts out Drag Queens, and up your game).  I presented my Hoosier license and U.S. passport, asked the lovely couple to move out of the picture chair (after all I dressed for this occasion), no smile and a click of the camera, some dollars thrown down, and now I am licensed… Licensed in the romp.   Can’t wait to afford my first Ute.  What did you do today?
©~~~Dustin J. Casey 2021~~~

NSW License, In the Romp 2018